(I started this entry fifteen billion years ago, but never got to finish it. Ever since I became, well, let’s call it immobilized, it seems like all I got is time.)
Out of all of the questions, this has been the most difficult question to answer thus far, because isn’t the answer to this question terribly individual? That is why this entry is going to seem a little half-assed. The subject is just too broad and comprehensive for my little morphine-dazed head at the moment.
Truthfully, I know some people who have made a decision long ago to only do things that they find to be fun, rewarding, and have managed to avoid any compromises that work in their disfavor. They have worked hard to get to a position that allows them to pick and choose, but the road to getting there hasn’t necessarily been one that they didn’t enjoy. That’s why the answer to this question is so hard to define, because not everyone has this problem.
But, luckily for this entry, yours truly often find herself doing stuff she doesn’t really want to do, and very rarely gives herself permission to do things she enjoys, so I guess my life is pretty suitable as a point of reference when answering this question. Whoop-dee-doo.
In my case, it is a mix of being a people pleaser and an emotional masochist. No. KIDDING. In all seriousness, I am a very conscientious person. If people expect something of me, I do it, and I guess I don’t believe it is possible to lead a totally compromise-free life without stepping on somebody else along the way. I find it difficult to give myself things, because it makes me feel guilty. I just shopped for clothes online for the first time recently, and the act of shopping FOR MYSELF felt like such a milestone in my personal progress that I dedicated an entire entry to it in my journal.
We do things we don’t want to do. because it feels like we have to, because we feel obligated. Obligations — I personally wouldn’t want to live life without them. In life, you have to make sure that there is constantly a steady balance between the two poles, and that is in every regard and every field in life. It is all about the attitude with which you do things.
I am currently participating in the “50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind”-list from Marc And Angel Hack Life.