Mar
2013
International Women’s Day 2013
(Photo from EarthSky.org
It’s only International Women’s Day for another hour in my neck of the woods, so I am going to attempt to squeeze a little shout-out in before it’s too late, or else it will become one of those awkward belated (and thereby sorta irrelevant) shout-outs that I do so well and often, where it’s like everyone has moved on except for me. I am trying to change my ways, here. I think it’s called personal growth.
My sister and I had a conversation recently wherein I peripherally mentioned that I consider myself to be a feminist. It was relevant and in context, and that is how I tend to reveal that part of myself. Not because I am ashamed of my identification with that word – quite the opposite, actually – I have just learned that putting a voice to these thoughts and beliefs are wasted on most of the people I have talked to, as they the second they hear the word write me off as some extremist, who invents issues that aren’t really there, because aren’t we such a progressive society, and yadayadayada.
And it’s true; Denmark is a very progressive society. Sure, women still aren’t paid as much as men, but we have a lot of choices. I mean… basically, we control our own lives. Of course, there are 284238 expectations to who and what a woman should be, but we have the choice to either do right or do wrong. Aren’t we privileged? Aren’t we free?
I have met women, who glamorize the 1950s, where “men were men” and “women were women”. What does that even mean? Sure, I love a lot of things from back then: the music, the clothing, the movies, etc, but I wouldn’t want to go back, I mean, what the hell? How many periods of Social Studies did you miss? Why would you glamorize gender roles that gave you less of a voice?
If I had a nickel for every time I have heard, “I am not trying to sound like a feminist or anything…”, my little piggy bank would be reeeally heavy. I have heard it from women my age, and younger, and older. It’s like it’s a hush word, a dirty word, a box some people are scared to death to be put in. And I guess I just don’t understand why. What part of feminism is it you disagree with? What part of it tastes sour in your mouth? Why can’t we work together, rather than fight each other? Sometimes I think we, women, block ourselves from getting anywhere, when we basically want the same thing – we just fear the alienation.
I want for women to have a choice. If you want to work, work, if you want to stay at home with the kids (and is able to), stay at home with the kids. If you want to wear make-up, do it to highlight your beauty and not to please someone else, or because you think that’s what you should be doing — you are enough. If you want to express yourself sexually, express yourself sexually, but never let anyone talk about you/treat you like you are less than a person (who should be respected). And don’t let anyone tell you what is right or wrong for you to do with your ovaries!
While I don’t agree with the radical extremists (I am talking from a strictly Western European viewpoint here) who believe that women, who shave their legs, have some kind of self-gender-hatred going on, I do think it took extremists once. And I thank those for walking miles and miles in those shoes that others are now so afraid to step into. I thank them for giving me a voice, human rights, and a vote. I thank them for giving me the right to drive, to own my own land, and to own my body and myself. I thank them for giving me choices. It’s not over, and it might take hundreds and hundreds of years, but we have a much better starting point because of those women, as we have the right to demonstrate and to voice our opinions.
***
It’s now twenty-five minutes past twelve, which means that I am once again late and irrelevant. I’m sorry. Of course there is so much more to say on this issue, and if I wasn’t so tired I would write twenty more paragraphs, but it has to end somewhere.
So, my fellow women (and men, for that matter), here is my shout-out to you: Happy International Women’s Day 2013. Let’s make this the year where we dare to put this word in our mouths and inspire others to do the same.
11 Comments on International Women’s Day 2013
1Pingbacks & Trackbacks on International Women’s Day 2013
-
[...] light of International Women’s Day, Sofie discusses the weight of the word “feminist” and Clem shares a list of badass female [...]
Reply
Manda
10 March, 2013 at 2:08 am (75 days ago)I think it’s a shame that in some contexts “feminism” has become almost a dirty word, like how you describe. It’s not a dirty word at all! (But then again, you could argue that any word is what you make it to be. Not that I necessarily agree, but whatever. Tangent. Moving on.)
I want women to have a choice, too. To be, feminism is having that choice of doing whatever you want and not being made to feel lesser for it.
Sofie
11 March, 2013 at 9:52 pm (73 days ago)“But then again, you could argue that any word is what you make it to be.” – I think that is true, and without trying to make everything sound like a conspiracy, it sure is very convenient that this word has become one that is so negatively charged.
Thanks, Manda. <3
Delightfully Awkward Brittany
10 March, 2013 at 11:05 am (74 days ago)I don’t call myself a feminist because a) I do feel that it has certain connotations and stereotypes that I don’t fit in to, and b) it feels a bit narrow. I call myself a “people-ist.” I’m for equality. When it comes to equal pay between men and women, whether it’s between equal rights for gay/straight couples, etc etc. It’s not that I think it’s a dirty word, but it has, in my personal experience, been misused. I’ve seen too many women use “feminism” as an excuse to mistreat or disrespect men, and expect their “sisters” to back them up just because of a shared gender. I don’t bode well with that (maybe it’s more common in America, don’t know, but I don’t like it). That’s obviously not always the case, but it’s happened repeatedly and that is the reason I don’t identify it with that specific word myself.
Sofie
10 March, 2013 at 1:07 pm (74 days ago)I have tremendous respect for that, and it’s interesting for me to hear the reasons why. I do think the reasons you listed (I mean the ones about experiences with your friends) are classic ways in which this word has been misused grossly by people, who have used it in some situation for their own personal gain and to treat others badly. I think it’s a real problem that people do that, because its kinda like taking a piss on a really serious issue. It’s just not being used right here.
I guess I view feminism like any civil rights movement, fighting for equality and respect. I think supporting and fighting for the oppressed groups in our society (no matter what it is) implies that you are a humanist and a people-ist. I would never even consider that homosexuals in fighting for their RIGHTS AS HUMAN BEINGS would have something against heterosexuals, or have some mission against them. Fighting for their right to get married is not some booyah-in-your-face-straights, so I don’t understand why women fighting for their rights are accused of that – being anti men, I mean. It’s so not about that. Unless people have completely missed the point.
eemusings
11 March, 2013 at 12:50 am (74 days ago)When I last wrote about feminism, I had a similar response to Brittany’s from one of my regular readers. Basically she didn’t see that feminism SHOULD even be a word – equality should simply be a given for all people, regardless.
It’s a great sentiment that I totally agree with. BUT, the world we live in isn’t that ideal world. Even if you don’t want to call it that, we still need feminism and will do for a very long time at this rate. It sucks that the word now has all these negative connotations associated with it.
Sofie
12 March, 2013 at 5:41 pm (72 days ago)Needless to say, I completely agree with you. That is exactly how I see it. Thank you for your comment!
Verdee
10 March, 2013 at 11:15 pm (74 days ago)I’ve never called myself a feminist but other people have (like it was bad?) and it catches me by surprise. I’ve even heard someone say (not in my presence) that I “try” to be a feminist. I was caught completely off guard because again, I’ve never used that word. I don’t go around complaining about inequalities, I just don’t acknowledge them. That’s because I was brought up by my father who treated all his kids exactly the same, and until I was about 17, I was literally unaware of them! I didn’t know I was being received as such. I admit I cringe at it and was offended at being called feminist, as if it made me less feminine.
It’s unfortunate and silly and like you said, if it wasn’t for those extremists we wouldn’t have attained the level of equality we have now (even if it’s not completely equal equality). I think it’s a word we as a society have grown out of and changed the meaning of. Maybe we need a new one?
-V
Sofie
12 March, 2013 at 5:55 pm (72 days ago)This is a really interesting perspective, and I think it’s great that you and your siblings were raised the same, despite of gender. Two thumbs up to that. My two brothers were never asked to move a finger, I guess because my parents assumed that girls have a natural desire to do the dishes? It’s like my parents felt bad for asking them to do anything, because “boys don’t like to do housework”. Like they asked them to go against their nature or something. Unfortunately, it’s probably like this in a lot of families.
“I don’t go around complaining about inequalities, I just don’t acknowledge them.” – I understand completely what you are saying, but I do think it’s important to acknowledge that there are inequalities. I don’t think ignoring them will change the world, and we can only change the world if we work together — hell, there are so many of us.
eemusings
11 March, 2013 at 12:48 am (74 days ago)“I am not trying to sound like a feminist or anything…”
Nothing makes me boil over with rage more than this phrase.
Sofie
12 March, 2013 at 5:41 pm (72 days ago)I KNOW RIGHT!