Happy belated Easter! What did your baskets hold? Eggs? Chocolate? Socks? A pony perhaps?

Easter has flown by. Here is what Monday, the 1st of April 2013 looked like in my father’s neck of the woods. Ice, ice, baby.

Saturday night it was finally our turn to partake in Daylight Saving Time. We have lost an hour, but for someone who has trouble dealing with those long, dark Winter Months, the loss of that hour means to gain EVERYTHING. Forget the snow, forget the cold — Light is where it’s at.

Guess what I am doing on Saturday! I’ll give you one clue: I am not going to a luxurious beach resort. I am also not going to be in bed, making up for a week of sleep deprivation. Give up? Okay. Saturday, I am going to school. Let’s all pick our jaws up off the floor. The school has offered to do a faux exam-like test, so we, the students, can get a chance to see how a written exam in Spanish A works, and because there are so many classes, some of these trial-tests have to be done on Saturday. While I am a little sad about losing Saturday (that is the day I make up for all the sleep I have not gotten during the week), and having to get up at 6 a.m, I am still so grateful that our professors are willing to do this. It’s their weekends, too. I know they are not working for free, but still — that’s dedication.

And honestly, if anyone reading this is a teacher, or has been a teacher, or is becoming a teacher; my hat’s off to you. Sorry if it sometimes feels like an ungrateful job, but it’s such a noble profession, and your prints are all over the people you have taught. Some of the most important people in my life have been some of the teachers I have had, and they have been important in ways that go beyond courses and textbooks and grades. Of course, I have also had teachers who have scarred me. Teachers, who have used their profession as an ego-inflator, where it has never been about the children. It’s such an important job, and should be taken so seriously. After all, you are shaping humans.

Sorry, got a little sidetracked. But high fives and pats on the back to the teachers!

Now, it’s time for my body and my bed to reunite. I have been looking forward to this moment since 6.am. this morning. Sincerely.

I had my first study-date today, and we got so much work done, I can’t even believe it. In fact, I am going to go all out and say that the success of this experience has given me a whole new view on group work. I used to consider myself to be somewhat of a lone rideress when it comes to school and studying, you know, any additions to that place in my head where I keep all my smarts, but MAYBE, maybe this whole pairing up thing is not such a bad idea after all. Maybe I have just had some unfortunate experiences in the past with people, where we haven’t managed to bring out the best in each other. With my previous partner in school, I felt like we were holding each other down. We didn’t have good chemistry, and I felt that we honestly did not like each other. No matter what I said, even if it was during recess and we were talking about something not school-related, he would make it sound like there was something wrong with me. So, the fact that I viewed him as being contemptuous and arrogant, combined with the fact that he viewed me as being whatever he viewed me as being, made it impossible for us to grow together. Gee, I am so proud that I managed to write about the fucker without actually calling him a fucker.

So, yay team-work, yay. I’m gonna go like it on Facebook now.

AND, My Dear Friends, Christmas is before us! Which is something the radio made very clear by playing five different versions of “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” in a row. Are they trying to tell us something? It’s like, just in case you forgot you still have 24 presents left to buy, this is our subtle way of reminding you. Speaking of gifts, I have almost all of them down now. I only need two or three people, and that’s it. That’s a major weight off my shoulders thing. I love giving presents – it just hurts my wallet a little bit.

And on that note, I will leave you with a little song:

Well, the weather outside is delightful
But my account? It’s veeery frightful
What happened to all my dough?
I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know

Copenhagen at 1pm in the afternoon.

View from the wheels.

***

Guess what? After 44 hours of intensive Spanish training, I think I can say with some authority that this whole, you know, learning a new language thing, is actually REALLY FUCKING HARD. And bipolar, too. My confidence-o-meter is either sky-rocketing (like YEAH!, I know how to conjugate this verb, I must be a language-genius!) or scraping the bottom (Fuuuuuuuuck, out of the 50+ glossaries written on the board, I know what 4 1/2 of them mean. I AM NEVER GOING TO LEARN THIS.). My teacher’s teaching-style is very fast-paced, and I am, well, not. At all. So, it’s a challenge. Every single day. Like most other things at the moment. But I am doing it. “Si, estoy aqui!”.

Yesterday was the day of the oral exam that I have been dreading the very most: HISTORY.

It was a 24-hour preparation exam, which meant that we had 24 hours to read up on the historical period and material we were assigned to — (our teacher put a bunch of letter tiles from Scrabble in a little bag, and then we each drew a tile from the bag, and the letter on the tile was assigned to a particular historical period and each period came with some relevant historical sources and material that we had to analyze. Is it possible for a method that is meant to ensure that it is all completely fair and random to be completely idiotic and yet strangely logical at the same time?) — and while it’s nice to have 24 hours to prepare/read up/study + write a synopsis, it’s also a really nice and easy way to give yourself an ulcer. Holy shit, it’s stressful.

Anyway, I drew the tile with an ‘I’ on it, which, for some reason, was assigned to the Renaissance. And… I FUCKING LOVE THE RENAISSANCE. I have loved the Renaissance ever since I first learned about The Renaissance. The Renaissance and I are wicked tight, yo. So, needless to say, I was pretty ecstatic. HOWEVER. Guess who managed to get sick during those 24 hours? C’EST MOI! (I think this entry has a French theme). Also, as a bonus, I was completely sleep deprived from the night before, because I had been so afraid of drawing the Roman Empire or something, so, needless to say, I really wasn’t feeling my very best. I worked on my synopsis from 1pm to 1am, and then again from 9am to 11am the next day. My throat was killing me, my eyes were completely squary from reading so much while also spending a ridiculous amount of time looking at the computer, and to make matters worse, I had just gotten my rag. Sorry, if that is too graphic for you, but I am having a hard time setting for myself boundaries right now.

I didn’t think I was going to fail, but I was completely sure that I wasn’t going to do well; not with all the stuff I had working against me, like my throat and my uterus. Even when I was in the exam room, I just felt shitty and unprepared and like I couldn’t articulate myself correctly at all.

BUT. BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT.

GUYS.

I GOT AN A.

HOLY EFFING SHIT.

I can’t recall the last time I have felt that happy and pleased with myself. I had never expected to get an A in History, EVER. I have the worst memory, and before I started at this school I had like no historical perspective what so ever. LOOK AT ME NOW. I kept thanking the teachers, and they in return said, “No, you should thank yourself, it was very well deserved”, and I was like, “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, I JUST CANT.BELIEVE.IT”. I have a feeling I made a fool of myself, but oh well, I got an A, I got an A, I GOT AN A. Can you tell that I am excited? Life is sure beautiful when you get an A in oral History.

This weekend has honestly, honestly, honestly been the best weekend I have had in a while. The settings have been unreasonably cold and wet, nothing like summer, but life has been sweet, spontaneous, and full of chai lattes and things that aren’t good for me (chai lattes also belong to this category).

The girl in the picture up there (^) is my much-adored sister, who, a year ago (when she was SIXTEEN!) decided to move several hundred kilometers away from everything she knows to attend school for tailoring and design. As it is right now, we see each other about once a month. Next year, she will be moving even further away to a town she has never even been to before, so that she can continue her education within that field. The amount of admiration I feel for that girl is out of this world, and I wish I felt as confident about my future place in this world as she does. I think I know what I want to study once I am done with what I am doing now, but that is only 50% of it. What about after that? And most importantly, will it be useful as far as getting a job in the US?

Anyway, Saturday night I made her biscotti:

This year, six weeks of my summer will be spent in New York, and I can’t fucking WAIT! I can’t wait to be with Andrew. We haven’t seen each other for three months and I can’t wait to do all the stuff we usually do together, like, go for walks, go to the mall, eat, spoon. You know, all the good stuff you do when you are a couple (and doesn’t drink).

Speaking of drinks… I don’t drink and have never drunk, but something that can make me feel seriously tempted to dig into this mysteriously mythical substance, in this situation disguised as punch, is large family get-togethers. Every year, a family get-together is held at my grandfather’s brother’s house, where the whole family on my grandfather’s side is invited. They all usually show up, too, which makes us roughly 23 people. This time, we were 31. In one backyard. Five of the newcomers were our long-lost relatives from Germany, who barely spoke any English, and whose shoe-sized dog nearly ate one of the neighbor’s chickens, and, honestly, that + the obscene amount of people in a tiny space was enough to make me want to jump into the punch bowl (that was so 1980′s, by the way). Food was good, though.

Another thing that made me yearn for a stiff one + evidence of my attendance:

Yes, that is my cousin mooning the camera as we are having our yearly family picture taken. I blurred it for his sake and yours.

So, overall, I am quite happy tonight. Tomorrow, my History Teacher is doing a Q&A in my History Class, which I am definitely planning on attending. My oral History exam is on Wednesday, so it’s like perfect timing. We are probably only going to be four people, and all four of those people will have relied on the other three to have prepared some good questions, which, of course, no one will have done. Basically, it will be the same as always.

Goodnight, everybody!

Today was the first of my oral exams, and I have to say that there is something strangely anti-climactical about that emotional roller coaster of nervousness, performance anxiety, self-doubt and stress finally coming to a halt. It’s a relief, but my body is still in that mode where I feel like I am waiting for something, waiting to perform, waiting for that final verdict – despite of it being over. I guess the truth is that with this kind of pressure, just like the stress builds up slowly, it takes a while for the stress to wean from your body.

It went really well, my exam, really well. I am always so surprised that even though I have been a nervous wrack, I still manage to put on this act once I step through the door to the examination room that signals that I totally no question no doubt know my shit. That’s what I have been told. The truth is that I feel terrified, insecure, and am confident that they are going to see through me any second now. Luckily, I am not as transparent as I think, with my sweaty palms and overly-eager hand gestures.

My next exam is next week, so I have some time to cool down. Wednesday is my birthday,  which is surreal. Twenty-three. Well, shit. That’s a lot of  years. Two decades and then some. Hard to believe I failed my math-midterm, huh?

My written English exam is tomorrow, and as you can see, I have decided to make life sweet for myself, as a sort of reward for good behavior. I can’t give you any specific examples, but I feel like I have behaved good lately. I mean… I have cleaned out my closet, tried to get a lot of exercise, moved all the stuff that was lying on the floor in my bedroom, and kept my colors colorful and summery for like two weeks now. I don’t know, in these privileged days, doesn’t that count as good behavior? It’s been hard.

Earlier, I googled “exam good food” or something of that nature to see if there were any recommendations regarding food that can help you stay motivated/focused/alive during an exam, because I always bring the most boring, demotivating, depressing food. Why? Because I am a sado-masochist, who is always on a diet. And because sometimes I forget. Well. I found a few academic forums, where people recommended the most AWFUL things. No offense to the people making the recommendations, but I am not going to be THAT person. The person, who, in a situation where everybody is stressed to the maximum, is sitting there chewing on carrot sticks, apples and nuts. I am also not going to bring smelly fish sandwiches or something equally noticeable to the nose in a packed room on a hot summer day. Everybody hates that person, and gives them stink-eye, as do I. Although, now we know where they got the idea that it was okay to be that person.

So. I chose to blatantly ignore all the suggestions that I knew would make me wildly unpopular, and instead took matters into my own dirty little hands, which means that I came home with sour liquorish, gummy-bats (the body is made of liquorish and the wings are made of winegums – PERFECTION), and chocolate. To ensure myself from getting a sugar-shock, I am also bringing a sandwich. I figure a sandwich will serve as a good foundation for all the delicious that will be coming.

I have two more written exams coming up, so if any of you have any suggestions about food items to bring, please don’t hold back. No matter what, it will be greatly appreciated. Just please don’t tell me to eat a carrot.