I am writing this from my grandmother’s big brick of a desktop computer in complete silence. They are staying at their summerhouse for a few days, so my younger brother and I decided last night to take advantage of their rather spacious crib. There is something so quiet and peaceful about their apartment, despite of it being located right in the heart of the city, and I always sleep like I brick when I sleep over. It’s like non-stop zen over here. I solve Sudoku-puzzles and do crosswords and dip cookies in my homemade latte. It’s awesome and so quiet. Maybe I should move into a building that has a lot of senior residents. It’s much more my pace than all of those youngsters with their loud music and promiscious drinking habits. Somebody give me some pearls to clutch.

Yesterday, I received some awesome news regarding my upcoming exams, which pretty much made my day, week, month, year, decade, you name it. I don’t think I have ever felt that happy on school grounds, except for that one time where I received a completely unexpected A+ on an oral exam (which unfortunately doesn’t matter in the long run because it was just an exam designed to give us a preview of what a real exam in that class is going to be like) some moons ago. That deserved some celebration, so I bought myself a blue cardigan as a reward.

But back to present time.

I have until yesterday had very little knowledge of my upcoming exam period. Perhaps it is for dramatic effect, but my school always chooses to make a big shebang out of revealing important information to us. That’s a way of keeping us under control, I suppose.

What made yesterday full of win and win-cakes is the fact that I only have to take six exams, and four of those will be written, which means that only two of them will be oral exams. HALLELUJAH. I am so much better at writing than I am at talking to teachers. That means that there is only one “mystery exam” that I don’t have any information about, but that information will be revealed to me on May 23rd (as well as my grades for the year). This isn’t the case for every student, it is completely individual. Do you know why? Because, it is all decided by… a computer. I shit you not. I know technology equals advancement, but it being used for this purpose seems completely dated.

Despite this stellar information, I still had trouble falling asleep last night, and when I finally did fall asleep, I had another horrible dream about my upcoming exams. You would think that finding out it will most likely be easier than I had anticipated would help me, but no, now I feel like it will be even more humiliating if I don’t do well.

Today I spent the entire day with my grandparents, just like I used to when I was little.

Some of the best memories from my childhood are the many weekends I have spent with them, riding our bikes and going to the movies. The weekends were always steadily planned. Friday evening, my grandmother would put me in their bathtub, and I would spend an hour playing with My Little Pony dolls and various other plastic toys by myself. Buckets, cups, little boats. Then, she would make me a cup of tea, and I would borrow her bathrobe and watch a movie with her on the couch, my young fingers all wrinkly from having been soaking for the past hour. On Saturdays, we would go out on adventures together, maybe to the mall or grocery shopping. The latter doesn’t sound very adventurous, I know, but everything mundane became thrilling and exciting with them, because it was a completely different experience than what I was used to from home. At home, I was one out of several. With them, I was their little pearl, their first grandchild. That is why Sundays were particularly crushing (not that I have ever really been a fan), because why would you ever want that to end?

To this day, Fridays are still my favorite, even if I am twenty-two years old and no longer stay with them on the weekends.

Another thing that reminds me of happiness and all things good is going to Tivoli Gardens. Tivoli Gardens is the second-oldest amusement park in Denmark, and I think my grandfather must have taken me there at least a hundred times growing up. It has always been his thing to bring us there, and I have countless pictures of us together on the ferris wheel, him looking rather green in the face from being up so high. That will always be HIS place, our place.

It has been years since I have been there with them, where it has just been casual and to eat an ice cream, but today I suggested we go, because today felt special. I don’t know why, but today has felt different and special and magical, and like a day I am going to remember for a long time. To them, I am still five years old and in need of love and pampering and attention, and some days I genuinely am.  Some days I just need to sit with them on the ferris wheel and feel like I am still their pearl.